In Honor of My Fast & Apparently Reprehensible Driving Skills


I shouldn’t be allowed on the road. I’m not fucking kidding dudes. I mean, for a while I didn’t get ANY tickets or get into ANY accidents, but since December I’ve managed to rack up 4 moving violations (all for different reasons, and all within the same 2 mile radius), smash up my front bumper, have it repaired, and then total my car, and put some totally undeniable damage on the rental I can’t afford. So to represent the driving skills I lack and each one of the traffic tickets I can’t pay, you get a commemorative MP3 download.

Please go to–it’s like digg, only, for police officers–so go to it and rate the Long Beach Police Department accordingly. I don’t think I need to say anything else.


The Primitives – Crash
Talking Heads – Road to Nowhere
Jimi Hendrix – Crosstown Traffic
The Beatles – I’m So Tired

About the Author

i want to smash my soul on your brain

i love the durutti column.

i made the weapon.  @carriecstern