All things lead to Steve Albini: or, the Mark E. Smith Squirrel Massacre

 

Mark E. Smith (The Fall) is 51 years old and still punk as fuck. I saw The Fall like 6 years ago at the Knitting Factory with Midget Handjob (ex Misguided Youth, Clawhammer, Circle Jerks, etc. etc. etc.) and it totally sucked. That’s right, I said it. But I won’t dispute the claim that the prune is still a total bad-ass. He made the band (whose members probably went to high school with his grandkids) play for like 10 minutes before he stumbled on stage, incoherently mumbled some stuff (hardly song lyrics), and disappeared into the wings. What followed? Nothing dude, that was it. I felt so bad for the kids who paid like 60 bucks to see that show cause it was a serious disappointment. I don’t care how legendary the dude might be, there’s a point where that sort of behavior isn’t funny any more; it’s just pathetic. But here’s a story for the kids: in an interview with Uncut Magazine (that has mysteriously disappeared from the internet, I think..) the old man said he had massacred a bunch of endangered red squirrels with hedge trimmers. Really weird thing to make up, but also kind of hard to believe. Regardless, the jig is up: the RSPCA caught wind of the story and the ancient punk rocker is now under investigation. If it isn’t a joke and he does go to court he should probably blame it on senility. I’d believe that. He’s totally old enough.

 

The Fall - Totally Wired

 

Shellac - Squirrel Song

 

Buy these records. They’re good.
Shellac - 1000 Hurts
The Fall - Totally Wired: The Rough Trade Anthology